You should be here No Raphael Saadiq, D'angelo Why attempt to eulogize the intangible Our language was magical Triangular pedestal It's all so random It's all so maddening It's all so minuscule So unfathomable Dying cells (we are) Lying to ourselves Snuffing out a light I rely on Like night-night but I just pile on Pile on, pile on the grief The uncertainty As I'm circling the worry Spiraling You deserve better I deserve better We deserve no pain And the nerves, the brain The nervous system, and the suffering it's all with us But you're not here You're not here I was watching you I was watching you disappear So in the name of In the name of... Ghosts please give mercy Cuz this grief won't I'm bursting And this guilt might just... I might just merk me If I was right you were hurting If was right, it's still wrong Marking off our days inside the cages that we've built This consciousness a tether to the rage that slowly wilts Towards the end it was just gentle, our relationship distilled Down to patience and a grace our younger age never revealed But it was one of patient and caregiver by then Giving it my all against the buzzer in a game I'd never win Told myself I'd feel relief We tell ourselves crazy things

Before my friend was dying My pen was flying I've been too silent Not that what’s needed is more noise Within me there’s more void I’m screaming in Nothing emits Want to drink a fifth and leak a wrist Probably start smiling When the liquor meets my lips It's been a while, welcome home Oblivion the only real heaven I’ve known Past lives, or maybe 8 of a cat's nine Now every night I leave a plate of hope out That when I wake a cleared one's what I’ll scope out But there’s more withering than thriving going on And I’ve been holding on Though rationalizing the other option's a constant Tossed in this spin cycle Dodging nothing Can hear the hospice humming Remember there’s hotlines before the off-ramp But if I don’t choose one, Then one’ll choose me A true leash I seen it subdue beasts And isolate ’em more than two weeks, ooh wee I’ve seen curiosity kill the - I've seen time kill the curiosity and ferocity When you young, you turnt to full velocity Might make a costly decision When the now possessive like apostrophe I’ve made it past that age My friend is in his final stages We both oscillating Between numb and succumbing None of us young and each of us suffering Okay, update Mercy killed my friend 16 Like verse been killing them I'd eat my words until the end If I could just reverse the trend Standing on the other side of open eyes I euthanized In which I once projected more that what was healthy I surmise Got me questioning What’s too late, what’s too soon What’s humane, what’s for who And how an instant can let trauma mix the session Delay feedback on 100 Decay of the 'verb stretch through every second All I can say is this shit bangs Into new reality We all going through something fuck you judging one’s normality I haven’t checked my socials since the day we failed Uvalde I don’t care how you feel about it It’s all look at me, look at me Energy and empathy Drain like pool of expertise Collective brain hemorrhaging I don’t need this shit I need my friend, he needed me I did what needed to be done It's done but done is incomplete RIP

Miles dark Off in it I can hear coyotes bark And howl under silent stars Not guided by them Much as I am taunted Running the gauntlet Sun starts to rise On the walls red from Iron oxides Cash me outside How did I get here? Let’s philosophize Standing on fossils And fossils tell time Not talking watches Deposits of lime I am in awesomeness Mostly sublime Hunger creeps in and the homesickness pines I just keep going 'cuz going's the line From point A to point B where hope still resides Out in society, all of its size I can be someone with something that drives I can just blend in if I need to hide But out here there’s creatures evolved more than I The venom, the teeth And those claws and those eyes From a vantage point, element of surprise Endless cover from behind which to strike Behind that brush could be a brush with death I do not trust the shrubs I intersect Ankles stinging from rocks shifting when stepped on Time melts, each hour drips into next Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away not all of it though not all the way Aye how fresh are those tracks I hoped about mine someday they would ask This is a different use of those semantics Sizable imprint, evoking a panic I can’t do nothing but keep on this path No Peeping a map It's not an option I was not issued one I know topography perilous when it’s front of me In this case surrounding me Grandness in pano This majesty bountifully Provided by you tell me? Determine empirically You have the time Away from distractions and noise of your kind Cries and their crimes You’ve been victimized Inflicted harm too Rationalized Stole rations and lied while being lied to by those designated to lead What to believe Who to trust Authority truly nuts Compassion what will save us Complacency what keeps shut Access to what we need Access to what we need Don’t listen to me I'm on drugs I’m just on this mountain peak Yesterday it was green Before that it was aspen trees Now it’s the color of heat I keep walking Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away Falling away, not all the way I still remember I still remember I can do better I can do better All I know is I can't keep quiet All I know is I can't keep quiet All I know is I'm not fixed All I know is I'm not fixed All I know is I can't keep quiet And that's progress

One million dead No recount No one to online dox 'em No flags draped on pine boxes The line - crossed it Irreversible change climate costs Activists facing federal charges Others self-immolate Barely mentioned in the news Well they sell my data And sell me existential doom This the day and age of post-information Fact and fiction all the same All that matters is we swimming in the stream Surf the net was their catchphrase in the 90s Now we drown in rising sea levels, These waves might be tidal To engage suicidal, homi, geno maybe all prefixes are applicable All I know's I’d blow my three wishes statistical As much as I’d like to flex like Bezos' ex on 'em With my opps I need options Muskets with bayonets on 'em Barely keep it civil, drunken drivel Got my good will shrunk and shriveled In the event my net worth triples That might be 3 middle fingers That’s right - I’m balling and copping extra appendages And instruments to build a wall of sound without no entrances maybe there’s only room for me to seek refuge as the refuse swells As well as the temperatures I know, adjust the attitude Blah blah, platitudes, gratitude I'm in a bad mood because the planet moved I felt that Empath who had respect for what you had as food Tears ain’t tatted, but you can’t remove Permanence impervious In service to the worthless Should mean I’m helping the destitute Not making art everyday that can only be accessed by few Only to be assessed in the context Of here’s another small bean trying Fuck that, you should call me giant I’ve seen so many grow so tall Only to fall so violent Meanwhile I keep working like a 70s appliance What’s the science Y’all only know how to follow these days Led in bad faith, and the slaughter awaits CEOs own the senators If you’re lucky they’ll bankroll creative endeavors So your 15 million merits can be cashed out To cast your seething critiques on the very system That paid to bring your vision to fruition (They have some notes) Handsome quotes Turn activists To lavish hosts Mansion owners talking trauma over charcuterie G W Bush on a naval ship mission accomplished banner Pat yourselves on the back while making neolib pockets fatter They go on to make the cages fuller Sell you slogans like the talking matters How many BLM signs in the yard Of not in my backyarders You should pay me what you’d pay for Harvard I’ll redistribute it locally Shift your point of view globally With these bars penned as Your ludovico center You will see what is needed to feel worse, thus meaning better Nasty bits of ultra violence cultures silenced and erased dissent posted, please revise it posthaste Your Editor in chief keeps real friendly with the state At the kiln while it spinning Swayze hands behind the shape New discourse out the gate devolving at an ever faster rate Maybe it’s CIA or corporate co-opting Social media soap boxing So often they speaking out of depth for clout I’m guilty of it too, logged in to accounts I wish I wasn’t Wish I was still just lurking on okayplayer forums Not even signed in, soaking up game and decorum Didn’t need to take any lorem ipsum up Nothing to fret like Gibson I wanted insight and wisdom Knew I knew nothing 13, so self-aware Self-conscious In front of the class, face red as my hair Wanted to disappear Got pretty damn close Parents pretty damn scared Counselors doing the most Had me sent away for repairs But I couldn’t stay away from impaired Could’ve been a good time for a hook Cry me Chinook if you're still along for the ride Have every right to be shook I'm unhinged like a swat team busting thru the door Off shitty intel and a no knock warrant Get to blasting like Frank Reynolds In how the gang gets porous Oxymoron's police gang enforcement Notice how we can't defund just fund vague reforms That do nothing but pay 'em more Buy 'em more arms than some nations warring Currently Worriedly Hurriedly Hurtling thru space On a burning thing While you party harder With you phone out to film the murders the purge will bring It’s not one day or forever, just whenever herd convene Guns, cars, booze Freedom screaming fuck y’all’s rules Wait now it’s screaming something unintelligible What’s that? Call an ambulance? Active shooter drills are normal But we gotta get these kids unmasked Florida says this isn’t math If trans youth are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide as cisgendered And that rate is cut in half with support from community members How many lives could be saved without the bigoted agendas The exclusionary ideologies, policies rendered But y’all only value life at its most abstract and least autonomous Once out the womb you control, it’s just food for beast economies The machine chews and leaks our arteries An elite few will complete their dominance Gasps from the audience Y’all weren’t paying attention as the wealth gap grew astronomical? Slash tragic, comical Slash Axl combo Welcome to the jungle We a dave and busters Full of rapey hustlers I don’t endorse Guess I’m on high horse like Kacey Musgraves In most cases I don’t fuck with sapiens Still want them to be happy and safe Just stay the fuck away This for your benefit As well as mine Selfish mind Product of the hellish times Opposite of Ellis island Give me your stuffed full, energized and filthy rich They’ll stay wide awake as I hunt them through the wilderness cramping as they run I’m laughing this is fun Wait I’m not done You made it this far, gold star This should probably get better soon They take you to the club for 2 minutes I’ve got you in a suspended loop Until you're over analyzing your every move Determining what changes you need to make for time to resume This ain't a story of your redemption The world's stuck, your no exception Your faith might get you tax exemption But otherwise its just reinforcing Individualist solutions for collectivist dilemmas Crises that affect us all Whether Christ or Allah That you pray too Aye dude - You do you I’ll be stabbing dolls To see if voodoo true if a billionaire starts bleeding then Ooh ooh ooh Think these politicians had it bad When dude threw shoe Now I’m stomping on them like a box when the flap's too glued I turn one dimensional thinkers into flat smooth goop Cowards get twin towered Oh is that too soon? Why can I still hear y’all from your canceled rooms? Crying the wolf of tyranny Cuz a piece of cloth between you coughing air on me is Too much for your apparently I’d waterboard you merrily I’m mirroring the parodies Satirizing the serious Brain soup USA - bring spoon Don’t need to show vaccine proof It’s easy unless you not white and cis Then your best bets to assimilate with the most fascist elements We have to offer, do it proper You could be a token you at the RNC Do a podcast with Marjorie Funny farm indeed Sackler zombies Used to wear Abercrombie Now they calculate how much fentanyl's fatal and try to act accordingly Shoot up to that HBO max, euphorically Stupid They can’t see I’m working with a labrinth like Rue did Every step prudent Out is not necessarily an improvement I’m not trapped I’m moving You still staring at the blueprint I’ll build a step if I want higher but the edibles should do it One day I’d like to take dabs with my homie Graves again Rock another northwest stage again There might be shroom dispensaries out there soon And I see that as a major win Capitalism aside Yo I'm trying to fly thru this shit alien I still remember the night I made Fog on the Shore Think it was the end of 2004 I was starting to come down but was up a few hours before Smoke & Simple had capes on, we were walking in Forest Grove Thru Cemeteries, parks and parking lots Immersed in it like aquanauts The onset, thought I was about to conversate with God And die with full consciousness It’s from the earth, it’s an awesome gift And your heart will beat like Hawkins did I remember feeling like my stomach was turning inside out My dick was on some turtle shit I did too much, was sure of it Then got to the otherside to where I felt no human urges quit Cigarettes for a few hours and all my thoughts were pure and shit When I started wanting nicotine again And could explain myself We sampled what had earlier had us bound by spell Salad fingers in a dimly lit basement A place of intrigue, yea 300,000 times, you say the same thing I’m not sure why it's that number but it don’t mean a thing And you will never be as genius as my G Thndrthf But keep trying I like to think a futile effort builds character While homies in his own metaverse game where he builds characters You were living in the future always I’m still pressing cassettes and damn... Illmacs out here pushing NFTs with Method Man and Timbo And I just figured out how to sync the tempo But now I can send clock and volts per octave, let your friends know Patchy like the facial hair my cheek has failed containing but What doesn’t make it better is the trichotillomania A freak befell your radius Seek shelter at the stadium I’m unapologetic You what seltzer is too flavor A suggestion at best I’m blessed I possess a lot of zest You might disagree You might not think I’m dynamic enough, You might prefer me random as fuck You might wish that I was more like YEAT I grew up one suburb over when Auto-Tune was just Believe Cher reference Trying to keep my people streaming Like a shared Netflix At hotels I send my wife down to get their breakfast Not an early riser I keep the blinds at their tensest If you got a spare deathwish I can sit you on the couch For hours that no daredevil Would try and slouch until Your spine is a corner Shaping sines and Writing rhymes on a phone That picks up words and look... I don’t know the notes app privacy policy I don't read the terms I agree with, neither do you You’re not sure what that means as far as consent in the age of Me Too Me too All I know is I can’t leave the screen, glued I know what it’s gonna do I'm still about to watch like Ring 2 Still about to watch, I need to I could tell you a Hollywood story, yea E-True I’ve turned down things that have turned others igloo I’ve stopped using what others still fiend to I’m still here, looking crazy like Joaquin do Except I’m really rapping in this documentary The mic running, picking up what your not meant to see The process isn’t always for the gram And I don’t really twitch so I don’t need a steady cam fam.. FAM

Self indulgent Pulitzer Bullets out the pores No Forbes in the waiting room My therapist unmoored Something stored under floor boards Loudly striking chords Signals from another realm Can’t help but to absorb Like EMF, FML Keep scanning through that FM dial Got a refresh of what death entails Think I’ll try to stick around Gods laughing at those plans I’m glad to see one of these jokes land Netflix special coming when the punchline isn’t woke fans Dammit ain’t this tiresome Always starving though they feed us well This petri dish a Eden where amoebas breath and eat themselves I don’t believe beneath is hell No theology degree Just all the things I see I’ll leap to fill conclusions That don’t need much help Like I do, Gemini reacting to stimuli Many lights, choices off this menu size Paralyzing plenitude Xanadu planet rock Granite ruins Don’t know what you got Granted you Are not Janet Not even sample of Joni Even with these voices I’m lonely In the zone, zoning This ain't zen, it's fear and loathing Might find a sunken stash of jewels In acid tab induced plundering Free will is an illusion Like bandersnatch, who’s jumping? I been detached, loose junk With some benefactor Scattered across the globe Not fame & Fortune, just a modified goal You know, lowered expectations My social life’s a Poltergeist Got some kinfolk that’s Ann Coulter white Yikes Me & my DNA share unsightly traits Beliefs are night and day Every holiday is shrouded by malaise keep it light, we’ll good thing we all ablaze, I would say Bright side if there’s any, you’ll see what this wall contains Writings in Aramaic translated Dare I say it, Unleash a curse like Ancient pathogens in the ice that’s melting Disoriented? I felt it too Things seem off We need to talk Nobody’s listening Endless funds for bombs and cops While the doomsday clock’s ticking Let me off this gravitron My lunch is missing, guts are twisted Crazy thing’s collectively, we could halt this vessel in an instant You remember when they burned the 3rd precinct Influencers dispersed think pieces Conservative derps clutched pearls At the mere thought of a world where murder decreases Your favorite content creators feigned solidarity Don’t follow the dollars too carefully You might not care for where they care to be Hobnobbing with the rare elite You’d swear a miracle was needed Praying to the private sector is a terrible idea Under the rug swept up, ‘merican procedure Erasure Amnesia Two party system just a stage for the theater Take me to your leader I might Wilkes Booth ‘em Freed slaves, built prisons so we still looting Communities of real humans Getting gerrymandered by a fucking cartoonist Shit’s ghoulish It’s Waves waves waves, Are you just tuning in now? Oh? Oh? Are you already tuned out? Waves waves waves, Are you just tuning in now? Oh You already tuned out? I denote Truth in a rhyme I wrote Tied to a finite rope Redundant, like hoping I find hope When the only thing saved is an iPhone note Looking for a way out Dannamora Can’t afford to not spend another day out So I’m digging this escape route Hope you dig it too.. 
That’s a lesser priority Before cordially inviting you, I need to reach there first Make sure I’m not just leading you into a secured hearse

I’ve penned many a theme song And the tone has changed thru the seasons I’m renewed Picked up again Aren’t you Happy? Happy? I’ll show you What Happy is And so much more It’s not your just bored It’s so much more Escape - here’s an Open door Get high, make love Let it slow absorb What we going so fast for? I ask for me But one day aye wool see one day aye wool see one day aye wool see Until then make your.. peace one day aye wool see one day aye wool see one day aye wool see Until then make your peace Peace, Please (I hope you can) And I don’t have the answers Hand me the keys and I'mma crash her Reckon it’s not what you wanted but It’s a matter of intent in my eyes I just wanted what’s best for all of us Not some of us Cuz those odds are fucked Then I remember we buy stocks, crypto and lotto numbers I just watched fights on Twitter for, shit I don’t know how long Is this hell? I blocked the channel but here’s another one Damn ain’t we sick, throwing these fits When the poverty strict And the tools for survival just Commodities Shipped To make those who own property richer Wait I own property, cringe Problematic Product of privilege I mean low end of the spectrum Survival of the fittest Wish I had that kind of confide-ence But one day aye wool see Was that convincing? Should I go get or get going Should I go get or get going Should I go get or get going I don’t like where this going Should I go get or get going Should I go get or get going Should I go get or get going I don’t like where this going I’m not an activist I know What I can’t resist I know I give back but could be more I feel bad but same time grateful I mourn for those who are still breathing What’s a normal amount of grieving Love that I have for you isn’t easy yo The attachment is squeezing Outside bullets are wizzing by People are wheezing They’re not even hyping up the waves no more They just let it rip throughout the labor sources Any more lockdowns and we could face a shortage.. of CEO bonuses Could you imagine? How could mankind proceed? Now they say a new pox dropping, wish this was 93 Make it make sense again Get us all back on track All we do is react react react react react react but one day wool